If you’re reading this right now then know that it’s an automated posting and I’m up to my chin in some of the deepest drek I’ve ever been in. I hope to talk to you all again very soon. In the meantime I want to talk about a few things. I want to talk to you straight on the level, edge of the proverbial razor about what my music means to me and why I run the shadows.
Have you ever thought to yourself that there is something wrong. I mean we all know that the world is fragged and that our lives are directed for us if we’re lucky enough to have someone actually care about our lives while the rest of us are left to rot and scrape. Omae, that’s enough to rage in and of itself, I can slot that. No, what I’m talking about is deeper then the sixth world. Who controls the controllers? Why? Why do we long for order? Why do we king the kings? Give them power?
I’m up on my magical theory. Signs about where things are going. We ‘know’ that there are bigger things out there, forces that are beyond our comprehension and way above us. We’re so.. fragile. Ever wonder why we’re afraid of snakes? You can overcome it by willing yourself not to be afraid of them but on a primal level we’re ALL afraid of them. It’s in us, some forgotten dark that embedded itself inside humanity in a previous world and hasn’t let go. I believe this is the reason why we desire to be controlled on a universal level. We want to be protected and ‘ready’ to deal with a power that we know is out there and that we cannot deal with. But just like that snake thing… the men we king are afraid of it as well and no better suited to deal with that fear then we are. In the meanwhile we lose that will to even decide if we’re going to be afraid of that snake or not. We’re just waiting for someone to deal with it for us. Trick is that they’re not ever going to deal with it for us. They’re just going to fight their own wars.
Feel it. Stop for a minute in this busy world and feel it. You’re probably numb but I need you to breathe. There is an invisible plan at work and you need to be aware of it and YOU need to do something about it. Be your own king in whatever way you can. For me? I raised my voice to it. I screamed. I woke up in a god damned gutter, I remember it was raining… Pouring, actually. My kid brother was sleeping, covered only by a blanket with more holes in it then our system. I was really skinny, I hadn’t ate a thing in days. The night before I’d been selling what was left of some drugs that I’d stolen for some food and I was beaten up and nearly raped. On my way back to our squat I just… watched people. The happy and the miserable. Living in this world and just existing. I looked up and I cried, not being able to find words for what I’d been feeling. We weren’t useful to whoever thought they had it more figured out then we did, thought they were less afraid of snakes then I was. I Went to bed that night and woke up in the morning and just… just screamed. Screamed until my voice broke and my brother was huddled against a dumpster after not being able to get me to stop.
I haven’t stopped. I’ll never stop. Burn it all down, people. Save yourselves.
Tags: #ViolentLife, #SilverSanity, #RiotBlue, #ManaBurns, #Underneath, #OutShadowrunning, #Lies