This is a disclaimer to anyone who thinks craving a bit of normalcy in your life makes you less of a diamond back, you might want to stop reading and check yourself. You’re only a burn out walkin’ his flesh around before he sizzles up.
So I’m going to say it… the other day I wondered what things would be like if life had landed on the right foot for me. I’m talking the whole package. The wholesome trid life. Where I can be a housewife and smile, wait for a husband or wife to get home. Get dinner on the table with REAL scented candles, laugh at jokes about their day that aren’t funny and frag their brains out infront of a fireplace.
So get this. I come home and try to teach myself how to cook. Did it too. I don’t have nobody but the band and my kid brother so I cook for him. I sit across from him and have a normal dinner all the while thinking that the shoe is gonna drop at any minute. I just…wait for something to get fragged up and for the drek to hit the fan. And… it didn’t. We had a dinner and it was good… really nice, you know? I finished up and I washed the dishes in hot water and thought about how far I am away from the tenement in Pullayup. Then I think about how what just happened would probably never happen again. About how I just ain’t built for normal. I’m built to scream and rage.
But it was nice.
I guess there’s a point to it though. I’m sitting here writing this in the worlds worst safehouse (nestled in the armpit of Redmond) waiting for my team to finish licking their wounds. It gets real lonely in the shadows. Some of us don’t think about it, some of us do our best not to. I ain’t even been here for long. Sure I’ve lived in the shadows pretty much my entire life but I’ve only just started running them. We’re the flame that burns out bright and fast. Jander and slot, chums. We’re all game face and not much more then that. We’re feral cats and mangy hounds. Go ahead and put us in a nice warm home and we’re just going to shift uncomfortably until we can’t help but shred the drapery.
All these thoughts are why I need to not be on Psyche when I have nothin’ to do but watch the roaches climb the walls.
One last bit. For those who saw us at Club Penumbra the other day. If you thought we were going to blow the top off that place and were disappointed make sure you stop by and thank the clubs misinformed DJ. I’m not going to stand there and be called a killer by nobody. Taylor was going to give us a shot at the big time and though the shadows had other plans I’ll always be eternally grateful. I know you guys get it and I damn well hope you shared the sentiment. If you were there and want me to personally make it up to you, leave a private message with the only words I spoke into that microphone before letting the thing crash to the ground that night.
Tags: #ShadowSea, #RiotBlue, #VendettaViolent, #ManaBurns, @djDENIED